20 years is a long time...

Hello friends! Sorry for my absence the last few days, but I've had nothing to blog about... and I wouldn't want to bore you with the mundane...

I've come to a point in my life where I can finally remember things that happened twenty years ago... it doesn't make me feel old, just experienced... around the age of five is when I really started to remember things... I have sporadic memories from before that, but five or six is when the memories flow like a movie being streamed from on-line.

Twenty years... a lot has happened.

I'm forced to stop and think about it as today is the twenty year anniversary of when I joined a dysfunctional family. At least that's what 'they' call it... and personally, I take offense to that. My family functions just fine... it's just a little fractured is all.

Looking back on it, do I wish that I had had a "normal"family? It might have been nice... but I don't think so... My one family has gotten by just fine... aren't we cute? Had my family not become fractured, I wouldn't have gone to the elementary and high schools that I went to... I wouldn't have the friends that I have, and they mean the world to me... and I more than likely wouldn't be the person that I am today. I might have liked the person that I would have become, but the devil you know is better than the devil you don't!

I also wouldn't have my other family... after my parents split, my dad married another woman, bringing a step brother into my world, followed eventually by a half-sister and half-brother... and contrary to what one of my friends says... there are no steps or halves involved... I have three brothers and a sister... and having a large extended family means a lot to me :)

After twenty years, things have settled into a nice groove, family wise, and I look forward to seeing what the next twenty will bring... yesterday was kind of a sad day friends. I went to see my extended family to say goodbye before leaving for the Sunshine State! After saying goodbye to everyone, it hit me that there is a good chance that that is the last time I'll ever see my 101 year old grandfather. He is a truly awesome person, and the patriarch of a family that has 35 members and is still going strong! Go Grandpa!

Enough of the melancholy... 12 days friends!

In honor of the start of the rest of my life 20 years ago on this date... I'll give today a solid rating of 5 out of 5 Corporate Logos!

On This Date in Disney History:
November 23rd, 1951:

Disney's Goofy short No Smoking, directed by Jack Kinney, is released... this is an interesting one friends. This short film, which was kept off of television due to its content, traces the history of tobacco from Christopher Columbus to modern (at least in 1951) day tobacco companies. Goofy plays a character named George Geef who is trying to kick the tobacco habit...
The following is a list of things that Goofy, as Geef, goes through in search of something to smoke:

• He tries to go into a tobacco store, but it's now closed. He then swipes a cigar from the wooden Indian statue near the door. He is about to light it, but a voice calls out "Ugh!" and a well-thrown tomahawk splits the cigar in half.
• He finds some tobacco from a man filling his pipe and a small piece of paper. He then tries to roll his own cigarette the old-fashioned way, but he gets it everywhere.
• He tries to pick up a discarded cigar, but a foot steps on it, flattening it and gets his hand in the process, leaving an imprint on his hand that reads, "Pussyfoot".
• He picks up another cigar near an elevator doorway, but the door closes on the cigar and as the elevator rises, so does the cigar.
• He goes into a smoking room, but is kicked out because it's for women only.
• He struggles with a hobo to get a cigarette, but the hobo wins.
• He tries to grab a cigar rolling down the street, but it falls into a drainage grate.
• He grabs what looks like a cigar from a man with a bunch of them, but it's actually a now-leaky fountain pen.
• He picks up a white pipe, but it gets blasted to bits as a target in an amusement park shooting gallery. A man then says, "And the little man wins a big cigar!"
• He looks up to see a janitor on a skyscraper drop a cigarette. He eagerly holds out his hand to get it, and even tries to use a ladder to get it, but when he does, it's spent completely; nothing but ashes are left of the cigarette.
• Finally, an elderly gentleman gives him a cigar, but it's an exploding cigar, which Goofy still smokes, while the narrator says, "Give a smoker enough rope, and he'll hang on to his habit."

Gawsh... I wonder what would have kept this film from being shown on Television?

That's all for today friends,
Keep on reading!

TheCanadian

A theory... by TheCanadian...

It was announced recently that Oprah Winfrey will be taking her show off the air in the fall of 2011... a collective gasp ran through housewives across the world. It does however, raise the question as to what Oprah, the queen of media, and arguably the richest woman in the country (if not the world) is going to do with all of her free time...

A theory...

If one was to take the time to look for it (http://www.gallup.com/poll/123860/vice-president-biden-favorable-rating-continues-decline.aspx) one would see that across the board vice president Joe Biden is in a steady state of decline when it comes to his approval rating. You see where I'm going here friends?

For the election of 2012, where he will presumably be up against former Alaskan Governor Tina Fey, president Barack Obama will drop Biden from the ticket and replace him with Oprah Winfrey... a close personal friend. Not only would she be a fine match against any VP nominee the Republicans could throw at her, but it would guarantee the election for the Democrats by garnering the support of every housewife and henpecked husband in the country, regardless of party affiliation.

After winning the election with the Obama/Winfrey ticket, the democrats would have four years to groom Oprah into the 2016 nominee for president. Imagine all the good Oprah could accomplish as VP and President of the United States... or not... who knows how it would turn out. It does however, seem to me at least, to be a sound theory...

And that is my theory...

15 days friends... this thing is getting closer!

Today was a good day plus it's Friday, so I'll give today a solid rating...4 out of 5 Corporate Logos

On This Day in Disney History:
November 20th, 1946:

A press screening for Disney's Song of the South takes place in New York. Due to it's apparent rampant racism, this movie is no longer available for purchase... anywhere.

Except perhaps the internet... you can buy almost anything on the interweb... however, if you'd like to experience The Song of the South for yourself... by riding Splash Mountain at the Magic Kingdom... and catch up with Br'er Bear, Br'er Fox, Br'er Rabbit and Uncle Remus himself (referring to a black man as Uncle is considered rascist... ask Uncle Ben. So on Splash Mountain, Uncle Remus is represented by Br'er Frog)

Keep on reading!
TheCanadian

What's makes a good name... these days, apparently anything...

Today friends, I got to thinking about names... you see, I work at a restaurant, I won't name it... but it's a chain restaurant, it's very nice, and the food ain't cheap... but it is good.

Today, I worked a double shift, in once for the lunch shift then take a break, then return again for the dinner sitting. On my lunch shift I had a table of six... let's call them "ladies of a certain age" and I decided to name them. The names that I was able to come up with for them were Mae, Ida, Mildred, Agnes, Hazel and Franny... as I said, ladies of a certain age... so they get grandma names to match. They were very nice, and they tipped very well... so I was happy with my experience.

Then I returned for my evening shift, and at the same table I had another group of six ladies... this one of the teenage persuasion. I gave them names as well. Brittany, Meghan, Megan, Ashley Tiffany and Madison. Very nice girls, could have tipped better, but I'm not complaining about what I got... but don't worry, I do have a complaint. See... it's the names. About half way through these girls meals, it occured to me that eventually... 40 or 50 years down the road, these girls will be "ladies of a certain age."

This started a whole new line of thought. Something along the lines of... Grandma names are about to change.

No longer will we hear of Doris, Tilly, Daisy or Helen... no no my friends, the decision will need to be made as to whether Christmas is being spent at Grandma Brittany's or Nana Tiffany's... and maybe it's just me... but something about that just doesn't seem right. I can deal with the Grandma names changing... it's those darn Grandmas slacks I don't want to see go. (You know the ones I'm talking about friends... made of a poly cotton blend, and only come in colors like plum and peacock blue)

17 days friends... (and thanks to those of you have read, and commented... it's nice to know someone cares!)

Made some good money today, and made quite a few people laugh... this counts as a good day... so I will give it a good rating!
4.5 out of 5 Corporate Logos

On This Day in Disney History:
November 17th, 1988:

Disney's animated feature Oliver & Company is released in U.S. theaters. To this date, I have never seen this movie in it's entirety... if anyone out there in the blogosphere has, and thinks it would be worth my time... then I will make a concerted effort to sit through it... let me know!

Keep on Reading,
TheCanadian

I sit here... gobsmacked!

Friends... a terrible injustice has just been revealed to me. Apparently, they do not have butter tarts in the U.S. How can a civilized nation, one that claims to be the most powerful nation on earth, not know about the culinary orgasm known as The Butter Tart.

In Georgia, and throughout the south, from restaurants to diners, deli's to greasy spoons you can find pecan pie. More often than not, sitting right along there next to the pie, you'll also find sugar pie. Sugar pie is nothing more than a large butter tart, and a pecan pie is the same thing... only with pecans on top. Now my question friends is this, if one is able to make a large... butter pie for all intents... why would one not be willing to shrink that pie down to a convenient and handy travel size?Why wouldn't you want one of these... when made properly (as only my mother knows how to do) they call to you with their shimmering golden filling and their flaky buttery crust. When you peel off the tin shell, and smell the sugar it takes you back to Christmas at Grandmas' (or something like that) And if you're really lucky, you'll get one where the insides flow out, and over your hand... mmmmm.... butter tarts....

Sorry, I'm good now. They're just so delicious...

This terrible piece of news got me thinking about something that I don't know if I was yet prepared for... there are going to be foods that I am used to, foods that I take for granted, that I am not going to be able to get in the U.S.

• All kinds of candy... Crispy Crunch, Crunchie, Aero, Smarties, Maynard's Wine Gums (all excellent candy treats)
• Swiss Chalet (and it's finger lickin' good sauce)
• Milk in a bag (that's right American's... up here in Canada, we can get our milk in cardboard cartons, plastic jugs and plastic bags...
• Ketchup chips... (a favorite of my cousin, and something I need to remember to pack for her)

Who knows what else I'll remember, but I'll be sure to post them one I do...


2.5 out of 5 today...
I'm going to chuck the bad score up to the not having butter tarts for a year... also, it cost me a lot of money to get my car fixed... and now it's ready for the trip down... :)

On This Day in Disney History
November, 17th 1989: Disney's The Little Mermaid is generally released in theaters. Being six years old at the time, seeing this movie in theaters was my first exposure to a Disney theatrical experience. Also, it was the start of a love affair... between me and Disney... incase you hadn't picked up on that.

It's a short one tonight friends... just needed to get that rant of my chest...

Keep on reading...
TheCanadian

The Maple Leaf... a symbol of Canadian Pride...

...and a major pain in my ass.

The Maple leaf is probably one of the most recognizable symbols the world over that instantly makes the viewer think of Canada. And it is beautiful...

In the spring, the new buds on the trees signal the end to the long cold winter...
In the summer, they rustle with the passing of a cool breeze on a July evening...
In the autumn, their colours are a beauty to behold... and then they do what gives autumn it's other name...

Fall.

Yes friends, today I raked the leaves. The many, many mounds of leaves. One doesn't really stop to think about how many trees one has in one's yard, until one is forced to rake, pile, mulch and bag the leaves that said trees have shed. After having to pick up all of these leaves, I must say this... no longer will things be compared to sliced bread on the scale of useful inventions... no friends, from now on I wish to hear "that's the greatest invention since the leaf mulcher."

We're it not for this wonderful contraption I would more likely than not still be outside picking up our Canadian pride. Three yard bags I filled... and that's only the backyard!

18 days and counting... this thing is getting closer!

I have one final regular piece that I'd like to add to the blog... and so I will, as the blog is mine, and I shall do with it as I please. (Friends, please don't take my pompous declaration of ownership as anything other than that... you may still feel free to read, comment and make suggestions... whether I choose to follow, now that is a different kettle of fish altogether)

So to recap.. the regular features to look for on this blog are:

• Worst/Stupidest Guest Comment
• Most Ignorific Comment on the Subject of Canadiana
• Rating of the Day based out of five corporate logos
• Names that I saw/overheard today

and finally...

• On This Day in Disney History

My first two features are not applicable for today, neither are the names... however, to wrap it up, I'll give you the rating and the fact...

Today was a good day, got some packing done...and made a few bucks at the restaurant where I currently work... so I'll give today a solid rating:

4 out of 5 Corporate Logos

On This Day in Disney History:

November 16th, 1965: Walt Disney visits the Disney World site in Florida the day after the news conference in Orlando announcing the building of the park. And paving the way for myself to eventually come and work for the five foot mouse himself... so a big thank you to both Walt and Mickey for making all of this possible...

That's all for now... but keep on reading!

TheCanadian

Bowling, in a word... murg...

Yes that's right, today I went bowling... and I have one word for you friends. Murg.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, murg is similar to meh... however, whereas meh denotes apathy murg, when used correctly should conjure up images of annoyance or frustration. Yes, that's right my friends, today I discovered that I suck at bowling...

For those of you who know me personally (and you all know who you are) it shouldn't come as any sort of great galloping shock that I have found yet another sport that I am in fact terrible at. I know, I know, people could argue that bowling isn't a sport, but more of a game... I'm not here to split hairs.

The purpose of this outing was to reconnect with some monsters. You see friends (I love that we're so comfortable with each other already, after only two posts) before I started prepping to come and work for the Mouse himself, I worked at another theme park. Canada's Wonderland, a Cedar Fair holding... :)

I worked at Wonderland for the Halloween Haunt 2009. I was a member of the Front Gate atmosphere crew, and we kicked ass. Winning the 'Atmo of the Year' trophy, stealing it from the clutches of those suckers in Clowns at Midnight... damned smug clowns.

Working for Wonderland was a blast, I met some really nice people, and some really awesome people (those ones know who they are) and I would certainly go back... we're it not for the fact that I'm going to be living 1000 miles away from Wonderland... the commute would be killer!

(for those of you blogoshpere friends who are curious, below you will see a picture of me in my Wonderland Scareacter get-up)

Pretty freaky eh?

I was The Hiker... or, if you were to ask my fellow Wonderland cast members I was more affectionately known as Vaginafacé. That's with a soft 'g' and an accute accent over the 'e.'

Suffice it to say, meeting up with the monsters was fun... having my ass soundly handed to me by three other people... murg.


On the getting ready for the move front... things are moving along swimmingly... I have most of my clothes packed (do you have any idea how difficult it is to pack for a YEAR?!?) and other things that I wish to take with me... now I just have to go.

19 more days friends... less than three weeks. This is getting exciting sportsfans!

I don't have any stupid/worst questions or examples of Canadiana Ignorance to report on today... but I've thought of another feature that I am going to add to the blog. The last time I worked at Disney, I kept a running tally of some of the names that were ACTUALLY seen by myself on employee name tags (friends, you will come to realize that one of my bigger pet peeves happens to be stupid/made up names). So look for it!

• Names that I saw/overheard today

And now to end with a story...

One of my fellow monsters was unable to bowl today, because of a hairline fractured rib. Before you go feeling all sorry for him, just keep this in mind... he fractured the rib while dancing at a club, with a girl and tried to suppress a sneeze. His lung expanded so much from the force, that it fractured his rib. (That makes me want to smile) :)

The moral of the story is this friends: She probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway, so next time... sneeze in her face.

The bowling was fun, but terrible for my ego... hearing that story made my day however, so I shall give today...

3.5 out of 5 Corporate Logos...

Keep on reading!

TheCanadian

What's this whole thing going to be about?

Hello Blogosphere!

I'm about to become a Canadian abroad. I'm leaving the comforts of the ever more cool northern climes of the Toronto area, and heading south... way south... that's right, further south than Buffalo for the day to go shopping... or Washington DC, for a vacation from the everyday... heck, even further south than Orlando where that dream vacation of The Walt Disney World Resort awaits...

No wait... scratch that, thats exactly what I'm doing.

Not a vacation though... more like a getaway. A paid getaway.

In 22 short days I will be leaving the land that is my home, and heading for a land that is... not. But this isn't just any job I'm taking... oh no my friends (you... you don't mind if I'm already referring to us as friends do you?) I'm going to be working at the Walt Disney World Resort in sunny Orlando Florida... call 407-W-DISNEY for all booking info :) Check me out, not even on the payroll yet, and already shilling for the company... I'm such a good shill...

Back to the job. What will I, the actor (oh, hi friends, it's me again - I forgot to mention before that yes, I am an actor) be doing at one of the greatest complexes for live entertainment in the world? Why serving people food of course! But not just any food... Canadian Food, whatever that is...

Yes that's right, for a year, I will be working for the five foot mouse, Mickey himself. As a Canadian Cultural Representative at the Epcot theme park, it will be my job to empart all of my Canadianness to the guests at the park. Presumably I will be assisted in this endevour by my fellow CCR's, and the aforementioned "Canadian Food."

In addition to hearing about my exploits in the world of Disney... I plan to maintain a few regular pieces on this blog... including but not limited to:

• Worst/Stupidest Guest Comment (Friends, anyone who has worked in the food service industry knows that when people go out to eat, they usually aren't thinking right, couple that with the fact that they're on vacation and they left their brains at home... you get my point)


• Most Ignorific Question on the Subject of Canadiana (I have spent the last 26 years of my life living in Canada, and with the exception of that one time on the front yard after a blizzard, have never known anyone that had even been inside of an igloo, let alone lived in one on a regular basis. We do however, all ride around on polar bears... that's a Canadian right of passage... 16... polar bear, no questions asked)

• Rating of the day based out of five corporate logos (Today being the first day that I set up my blog... it's a good day... and so)

5 out of 5 Corporate Logos!

That's all for now...

But keep a watch, I'll let you all know how the preparation for heading down goes...

TheCanadian

(one more thing friends... I'm so happy that we're all going to be blogosphere friends... so feel free to leave comments)